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Open Collection of Student Writing (OCSW)

Proposal for Personal Change

Goal: To become more other-oriented and realize that I am not the only communicator in my family that they have needs and feelings just as I do and I should be more aware of this as well as more caring with everyone especially my family and friends.

Rational: When I don’t take into consideration the feelings and need of others when communicating it cause me to come across as egocentric, thus keeping them from wanting to communicate with me in the first place. I understand that becoming more other-oriented won’t make me perfect communicator, but it will increase my interpersonal communication skills allowing me to get better continually. This will lead to my family wanting to communicate with me and give us a better understanding of each other bringing us closer together.  


To help me reach this goal, I will do the following strategies and remind myself with every interaction I have to do so.

Step 1: “Be mindful” this is to be conscious of what you are doing, thinking, and sensing at any moment (Beebe, S. A., 2013, pg80). This needs to be every time I engage in communication without exception.

Step 2: “Become aware of others perceptions of me” this means to be objective of my behavior and to seek out feedback from others to see what I am doing wrong as well as right (Beebe, S. A., 2013, pg81).

Step 3: “look at the big picture which is to search for clues of a person for a broader conclusion and not rush judgment on them (Beebe, S. A., 2013, pg80).

Step 4: “Check my perceptions to do so I need to use indirect perception checking which is seeking additional information through passive perception. I also need to use direct perception checking which is asking straight out whether my interpretation of what I perceive is correct or not (Beebe, S. A., 2013, pg81).

Step 5: “ Become other-oriented” this is a two step process first is to be social decentering which is thinking about another’s thoughts and feeling, second is empathizing which is responding emotionally to another’s feelings (Beebe, S. A., 2013, pg81).  


To implement this, I will let my family and friends know my intentions with this and ask that when we communicate that they remind me if I go off track. I will also be asking them to give me feedback on what I am doing right or wrong thus giving me the ability to correct my mistakes and continue with what is working. On top of that, I will remind myself every day of my goal and strive to stay on top of it as well as writing my interactions in my journal.  I also think if I review my journal now and then I can spot changes I need to make myself, and it would give me an insight of how my communications or trending. Most importantly I will continue to learn new techniques throughout the class and implement them as well so that I am always improving.


Beebe, S. A. (2013). Interpersonal communication: relating to others. Upper Saddle River: Pearson.

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